Engagement

What Exactly Is an Engagement?

An engagement or betrothal is a period of time between accepting a marriage proposal and the actual wedding, often referred to as fiancés. This duration can vary widely across cultures, influenced by norms, agreements, or family arrangements. Have you ever wondered why some engagements last just a few hours while others stretch for years?

The Origins of Engagement

In Jewish law (Torah), marriage consists of two acts: erusin (betrothal) and nissu’in (actual ceremony). This practice was later adopted by Ancient Greece as the gamos and engeysis rituals, with the giving of a ring borrowed from Judaism. The origins of these traditions are fascinating, aren’t they? How did such ancient customs shape modern engagement practices?

Betrothal: A Time of Preparation

Betrothal involves negotiation between families, exchange of vows, signing of contracts, and sometimes a celebration. The duration can range from several hours to several years or even from infancy to the age of marriage in child marriages. During this time, responsibilities include spending time together, learning about each other, and demonstrating readiness for adult society.

Legal Implications of Betrothal

A betrothal is considered a semi-binding contract, but its legal implications depend on specific circumstances and cultural context. Normal reasons for invalidation include the revelation of prior commitments or marriage, evidence of infidelity, failure to conceive in ‘trial marriage’ cultures, and failure of either party to meet financial and property stipulations.

Jewish Weddings During Talmudic Times

During Talmudic times, Jewish weddings involved two ceremonies: erusin (betrothal) and nissuin (actual marriage ceremony). The bride lived with her parents until the actual marriage, making betrothal a significant period of preparation. Today, betrothal is part of the Jewish wedding ceremony, accomplished when the groom gives the bride a ring or another object.

Christian Betrothals

In traditional forms of Christianity, an optional practice, Christian betrothals often feature prayer, Bible readings, and a blessing of engagement rings. A Christian rite of betrothal called ‘A Brief Liturgy for the Signing of the Declaration of Intention’ is included in the Lutheran book of Liturgical Forms.

Catholic Church

In the Catholic Church, betrothal is a formal contract considered as binding as marriage. Divorce is necessary to terminate a betrothal, highlighting its legal significance.

Protestant Churches

The Lutheran book of Liturgical Forms includes the ‘Form and Manner of Betrothal in Church.’ A Christian rite of betrothal called ‘A Brief Liturgy for the Signing of the Declaration of Intention’ is included, emphasizing the importance of preparing for marriage.

Eastern Orthodox and Oriental Orthodox Churches

In these churches, the Rite of Betrothal is traditionally performed in the narthex of the church. The priest blesses the couple and gives them lit candles to hold. After a litany and prayer at which everyone bows, he places the bride’s ring on the groom’s right hand and the groom’s ring on the bride’s finger.

Engagement Rings: A Symbolic Tradition

Customs for engagement rings vary according to time, place, and culture. The first instance of the tradition of giving a ring for marriage in the Hebrew Bible is in Genesis 24:22, when a golden nose ring was given by Eliezer of Damascus to Rebecca. In ancient Egypt, physicians believed a nerve led from the ring finger to the heart.

In Continental Europe, men traditionally wear rings on their right hand, except for monarchical regimes where noblemen present their left hand. The modern Western practice of giving engagement rings began in 1477 with Maximilian I. In some countries like Argentina, both partners wear rings during a ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ relationship. The gold band is given to the bride during formal commitment, and the diamond ring is reserved for the wedding ceremony.

In Brazil, there’s no tradition for engagement rings, but men and women wear their wedding bands on their right hand while engaged and left hand after marriage. These traditions are as diverse as they are intriguing, aren’t they?

In conclusion, engagements and betrothals are rich with tradition and symbolism. They represent a period of preparation, commitment, and anticipation for the future union of two individuals. Whether it’s a brief engagement or one that spans years, each moment is filled with significance and promise.